We have just added another sombrero to the collection, courtesy of the tannest man to ever waltz through Johnstown, Joe Salamack. This one is prettay BA. If I lived anywhere near Mexico, specifically TJ, I would shingle my house with these fuckers.  It has got to weigh like 8 pounds, and the dog is scared shitless of it. Did I mention this is the SECOND sombrero this man has given to my sister? Apparently, it is customary to wear them whilst riding a bike in the snow. I’ll post pics next time it snows.

The other one:

Sorry Snooks, yous my fave girl on the show, but the play on words was too tempting.
Props for having a “good side”, and never getting caught the other way.

At least Pauly D has 2 versions of his “blue steel”

All photos swiped from Pauly D’s f-book fan page. Thanks for making my 2010, Kate!

So, last Friday, I got a call from my landlord. He told me he was going to have to increase my rent, because I now have a roommate. He was forced to raise it $100 for an undisclosed reason. Also, we now have to pay the water bill.

So today, Shannon called him to let him know that the heater he fixed was broken again, and she also asked for a lil clarification on why the rent was going up. His response was “because you have a large dog living there now, Merry Christmas”.

Let’s backtrack a bit here: When I was out looking for apartments, my one and ONLY criteria was that I find a place that would allow my 95lb, housetrained, crated all day, scared of everything, pit bull. After I broke this news to landlord whilst viewing the apartment back in October, he went on to tell us how much he too loved animals, and so long as my dog was nice, he was welcome. I added that I have renter’s insurance that covers any damage my dog might do, and I could get him references on the dog from previous neighbors, landlord, dog trainer, etc. Might I also add that I am a pretty kickass tenant and I ALWAYS pay my rent on time, and leave apartments spotless and without a trace of animal inhabitance.

Fastforward back to now:

I.
AM.
PISSED.

Being that I was silly enough to not sign a lease, thinking that it was nice that he was allowing my animals, I am thoroughly effed, seeing how it’s his word against mine and my mother’s. But, doesn’t it cost an arm and a leg to evict someone? Maybe putting up a stink would work ….

Anyway, I went home tonight in a seriously foul mood, also remembering the fact that I have to work tomorrow on Christmas fucking EVE, and cranked some metal. Rocky was indifferent to the whole situation, despite being the center of the whole fiasco.

K, good.

If not, here is a reference.

Tiny, plastic, mildly racist figurines purchased from a gumball machine for a quarter at your local Dollar Tree, Price Chopper, etc. (circa 1999).

Well, since we were young’uns, my lil sis and I have been collecting them. Stored in a purple felt Crown Royal bag for most of the time, I have always wanted to display them … classily. At the last apartment, I lined them up on the windowsill, but the new roomie isnt having that. I was forced to think up the most Martha Stewarty of display options.

Behold:

Its a golf ball display case, repurposed as a Homie display case. I also worked in a few other tiny things, such as Red Rose tea figurines, Bolivian worry dolls, Kinder surprises, and Japanese erasers shaped like ice cream. Here are a few of my favorite cubbies.

Kickass Etsy seller, BerkleyIllustration, has some really awesome prints for sale and I ALMOST bought like 7 of them as Christmas gifts. But, I decided that framing them all was more work than I wanted to do.

I think they have been circulating around the internet for a while now, but I just can’t stop loving them. Especially their hilar descriptions.

Meet Willard the Polar Bear! This rosy fellow is the Chairman of the Board for a successful popsicle corporation. His ingenuity in the frozen novelty field is unsurpassed and he’s currently working on a flavor that is so secret, he has to carry the recipe in a briefcase handcuffed to his arm.

This dashing Labrador Retriever lives in a former utopian colony in rural Oregon. He loves eating his vegetables and at night he likes to warm his bones beside the fire curled up with his pillow. Sometimes, just to amuse himself, he likes to pretend he can’t hear you.

Some more of my faves …

Post title inspired by Home Alone, which I had the pleasure of seeing on Friday night. Next on the list – “the Santa Clause (1)”.

Here are a few highlights from this weekend’s Christmas preparations.

Shannon and I braved the first majah snowfall of the year to do some shopping. We heard tell of a pink tinsel tree at Big Lots. But they didn’t have one. So we settled for a 6ft. “shiny Douglas fir with white lights”. We were going for tacky, but it’s actually kind of awesome.

I tried to take some new pictures of the animals for my Christmas card, but Rocky wasnt going for the pose I wanted, and Boo is impossible, so here is one photo that I WON’T be using.

And finally, here is a video of Rocko playing with some ornaments that we didn’t use because they looked too much like tumors the color of human flesh.

I have changed jobs and moved in the past month. But now that I am settled in, I can get back to the BZ. I had abandoned it a bit to tend to my photo blog, which has since fallen by the wayside as well. See it here. But now, I am paying for a solid internet connection, something I haven’t done in roughly 4 years. That means that I have NO excuse but to keep up with mah Blahgs.

I am now working for a newspaper, doing many different things. But, most of all, I take cell phone pics of funny things I see in the paper. Like this picture of a funny cartoon of a cat with a tail hole in his pants.

And this one of some people I went to high school with who are now in a weird local band.

Continue to see updates on the animals

oh, and this

The above statement must be true, because most normal people cannot handle this much dairy in a medium iced coffee. Honestly, if this is an iced coffee with cream, wtf does a LATTE look like? Is there any coffee in it at all?? The following photos are 2 different iced coffees, on 2 different dates, from 2 different DD stores in the same city. I guess the standard color for my bev of choice is “pasty caucasian flesh” …. I don’t want to have to ask for “half the cream you dumb ho’s usually put in”, every single time I drive thru, all the while fearing that I could end up with not ENOUGH lightness to my coffee.

All I am asking is, who the fuck, other than a 12 year old girl, would ask for a coffee with this much GD cream in it? There has to be a whole gaggle of elderly people who are really pissed about this too.

*Color of coffee may look more saturated than it really was, but I assure you, it was FAR too light.

… to make even a pit bull look like a douchebag. 

I won’t even mention that she named the poor dog “Isaboo”. That isn’t a name, it’s garbled babytalk. I’m sorry, Isaboo, about your name, and that you have to eat Nutrish for the rest of your life.